Depression doesn’t always have to be permanent, but a commitment to mental health is a lifelong thing. We’re not dark and edgy, we’ve got a mental illness. Yes, depression can mute and swamp our personality and make it like it’s taken us over. Please take a moment to appreciate that we’ve opened up and told you what we’re dealing with. You’re reeeeeally not helping by reminding us of all the things we’re failing at doing.
But you need to remember that we’re so much more than our depressed selves. We get that hanging out in bed with a very irritable, grumpy person trying to push you away emotionally isn’t the fun way to spend your Sunday. Please bear with us and focus on the hilarious and brilliant person we are when we’re not in a depressive slump. If we’ve mentioned that our depression worsens when we’re sleep-deprived or don’t exercise for a while, it’d be pretty brilliant if you can help us stay on the right track. So we seriously respect and love that you’re able to support us through all the sh*t bits and love us for who we are underneath our depression. For more information on mental illness visit Time To Change, Mind and Rethink.
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With the number of visitors these sites get each month, that increase is pretty significant: Some current estimates report between 10.5 and 23.8 million unique visitors per month for two major dating sites.
Between 20, the number of people using online dating sites doubled, from 20 million to 40 million, and about one third of America’s single people participated in some sort of online dating last year.
Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Sometimes it gets too much and we just come along to that big party/dinner with friends/lunch with your parents. We’re not being flaky, we just don’t feel like we can do it today. Please don’t endlessly question why we’re feeling so rubbish. We can feel great and think we’ve finally got through this one day, then find ourselves in a pretty dark place (in our minds. Medication can mess things up for a bit, as can, well, just being depressed. Each reason our life is brilliant feels like a little stab in our heart, asking: ‘why aren’t you happy? We feel awful about that, and we already feel like self-obsessed oversensitive arseholes for being miserable with our comparatively brilliant lives. And we don’t need anyone confirming our belief that we’re sh*tty people.
If we say there’s no reason or we don’t know, we mean it. We don’t just need to turn on the light) at 2am the next night. It still feels like there’s a lot of stigma around mental illness and we’re scared of being judged. All easier said than done when your brain’s telling you to stay in bed in the dark and never, ever leave your room.
We’re fine with explaining how it feels to you, but it’s really not our job to educate you on mental illness and what causes depression. I don’t cry 24/7 and I doubt that many depressed people do. We know it’s not a big deal that we’ve lost our socks. It’s just our depression muddies up any excitement or joy we’d usually feel. So don’t assume we’ve magically cured ourselves of depression because we’ve told you we’ve been fine for the last few weeks. Actually expressing that we might need medication is deeply, deeply scary.
But despite these numbers, it’s unclear if online dating is any more effective than, or really any different from, meeting someone offline.
In many ways, online dating resembles offline dating — the resulting relationships are no different. So why do so many millions turn to the Web to find love?
Scroll further down to read about behaviors and situations you are more likely to encounter with men only.
Also realize you are not guaranteed to encounter these issues when you date someone with depression. Whether you ask or deduce it after months of dating, there will be a point when your partner discloses they deal with depression.